When I Take Over My World: Fashion Backwards

I am so dang tired of losing my spectacles. They never seem to be where I need them to be. If I don't need them, I am wearing them. And most irritatingly, when I need to wear them, they seem to have mysteriously spouted legs and ran away.

What doesn't help is that the frames sort of blend into the kitchen countertops. Well, they sort of blend in. I have tried to remember to always put them in a central location when I take them off - the kitchen window sill for example - but that only seems to work when I remember to place them in the central location.

The icing on the cake was the search for them one morning earlier in the week. I looked every place I have been known to leave them, and then some. This not only resulted in not finding my glasses, but also in the unnecessary expenditure of calories in walking upstairs to the loft and downstairs to the TV area.

Me trudging up and down the stairs is cause for injury, so I try to limit my use of the stairs. To add to the potential for an injury, it was also before any manner of coffee ingestion. When I finally broke down and asked Randy if he had seen them, it was Before Mountain Dew. I do my best to not to speak to him until I can see that the whites of his eyes have taken on a lime green hue. That is the only way I can tell that the Mountain Dew has made its way into his brain.

The need to see outweighed Randy's lack of Mountain Dew and I was pleasantly surprised that he knew exactly where my glasses were. Yes, they were on a window sill. In the living room. Hiding behind the closed blinds.

Where they would have stayed hidden until the morning sun got high enough to open the blinds.

I decided to make me a pretty beaded chain to keep my glasses on. I found an old eyeglass cord that was past its prime and cut the plastic doohickeys off of each end. Then I drug out my box o'beads and poured out all my favorites onto a towel in an attempt to keep them corralled.

Now was the tough part - picking out a pattern without being overly obsessive about said pattern. This little task took me all afternoon. I think I managed to redo this simple project a half a dozen times because I kept coming up with a 'better idea'.

The bottom line is that I finished my one of a kind, custom beaded eyeglass keeper. I proudly took it out to the garage to show Randy. I think he's worried that I am going to wear it out in public.

I, however, have not misplaced my glasses since I made my beautiful new treasure. The one and only design flaw I see is that I didn't take into account the weight of the fish beads. With six of 'em on there, my head seems to list to the right and left more than usual.