Thursday, December 23, 2010

Enough is Enough

It is right about now that I am officially tired of Christmas music.  Since Thanksgiving Day, I have heard every Christmas song, in every rendition, sung by every artist known to man and some not, at least three times.  I have been waking up every singe morning the past week with 'Baby, It's Cold Out There' stuck in my head.

And it is.  Cold out there.

Anyway ~

There are certain recordings of certain versions of certain Christmas music that no one should ever be subjected to listening to ever again.  Because of this I declare:

When I Take Over My World, The Following Christmas Music Will Never Be On Any Playlist:

  • Vince Gill and his daughter singing 'Let There Be Peace On Earth'
This album came out in 1993 when Vince Gill's daughter, Jennifer, was about ten or eleven. That poor girl has had to live with that song living on for the past seventeen years. I am sure that she is a very nice young lady, but the real sad fact is that recording will never go away.
  • 'Thistlehair the Christmas Bear' on Alabama's first Christmas album.  
I am huge Alabama fan.  Huge.  I always have been and always will.  Their songs tend to be on the sappy side.  But I immensely dislike this song so much that I hesitated in buying their second Christmas album.  The last thing I wanted to hear was the acoustic version of 'Thistlehair'.

  • Lee DeWyze singing 'O Holy Night'
Lee, Lee, Lee - you are an American Idol.  Who the heck talked you into that arrangement?  Fire 'em.
  • Any holiday song by Madonna
Just because her name is Madonna doesn't mean it is appropriate for her to sing Christmas songs of any sort.  Even 'Santa Baby'.

  • Connie Talbot 'When a Child Is Born'  
I know she's just a kid and Simon Cowell thinks she is the next best thing, but please ... 
  • Anything by Charlotte Church.  
My ears, my ears.
  • Miley Cyrus
This is a preemptive strike as she has yet to make a Christmas album.  Give me a choice between Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus and I will take Taylor Swift every single time.  And I don't even care that much for Taylor Swift.
  • Ditto for Rihanna
Dying your hair Christmas red does not a good singer make.  Give me a choice between Rihanna and Miley Cyrus and I would be tempted to pick Miley.

  • Kate Bush 'December Will Be Magic Again'
Kate Bush is a very popular British singer that has been around since 1978.  She is actually one of the most successful solo singers in the United Kingdom.  I'd never know it from that recording.

But the absolute worst is ... wait for it ...

Jessica Simpson's version of 'What Child Is This'.  Three minutes and fifty four seconds of shear torture.

I need never to hear 'Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer', 'Christmas Shoes' or dogs and cats barking and/or meowing to 'Jingle Bells' ever again.  I have no need to see the movie that was made in 2002 based on the lyrics to 'Christmas Shoes', either. 

My favorite Christmas song of all time is "I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas.'  Now that is a happy Christmas song.  It has to be the version sung by Gail Peevey, though.  I heard a version this morning on a country station and it just doesn't compare to hers.

Ah, but 'Silent Night' is the best.  I think that is because of the memory I have attached to that song.  The memory is of sitting next to my my mom in church and listening to her sing.  She was off key, but it sounded wonderful.

I don't get the line about sleeping in heavenly peas, though.

Have the BEST day ever!
~ Dorothy

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