Monday, July 19, 2010

You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

I have furnished Randy with a list of things to do if I should perish before him..  Not requests for music, poetry readings or flower choices for a funeral.  He knows better.  Nope, there ain't gonna no service.  Just cremate me in a cardboard box and toss the ashes out when he cleans the barbecue.  No muss, no fuss.

This list is helpful tidbits like when to change the sheets on the bed, where to find the sheets, how to cook rice, where to find the rice.  Regular life stuff.

Although, I have made Randy promise me that if I die in a fiery car crash, please oh please, do not put up any roadside memorial as a tribute to me.

Years back, when we were rehabbing the Spam-A-Way house, we would drive the back way through Orting, on the curvy, hilly road past the Old Soldier's Cemetery.  At one of the curves, there was a memorial for the person who had obviously perished there.  There were balloons, flowers and even an easel that held the young man's 8" x 10" photo.  The flowers, balloons and other decorations were changed according to the changing seasons or holiday.

It took us a while to complete the Spam-A-Way house.

I always had the thought that if you are constantly changing a memorial to keep up with the seasons of time, how can one move on?

Another thing Randy isn't allowed to do at my passing is to put a decal on his truck (Lord knows it wouldn't go on the Camaro) 'In Loving Memory of....'.  The way we switch vehicles he would go broke buying a new decal every time he traded it in.  If there was any trade in value if you showed up at the car dealership with said decal in the back window.

Cold and unfeeling as I may be about this, karma got me shortly before we moved from the Sumner house to Texas. The road we lived on was really dark, with no street lights. One foggy night, a man was run over very near our driveway. The family put up a memorial that I had the pleasure of driving past every day, at least twice a day.

After sharing an adult beverage one night, our neighbor and I had the idea that we would take the monument down. Not only was she annoyed by it like me, but I think she had her eye on a candle holder.

Our husbands threatened to take our wine and chocolate away from us.

Randy and I got to McKinney late in the afternoon yesterday after a ten day stay in Mountain Home.  Guess just how pleased I was to be greeted by this when we pulled onto our street.

~ Dorothy

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