... It is what I have when I turn on the faucet. I know water will come out. Unless our power is off, of course. I am not likely to forget that lesson from last week any time soon.
.... It is what I have when I get into my car. I know that I will have enough gas to get to where I am going and then back home again. This was part of our wedding vows almost twenty five years ago: Randy will always have clean and folded underwear in his drawer and I will always have a full tank of gas in my car.
... It is knowing that after Roxy has chewed up and has finished off the remainder of three (count 'em - three) chewies last night that I will be getting up in the middle of the night with her either throwing up or having to pee and pooh. Maybe both. These things had been laying around the house for weeks. And now, all of a sudden, she decides to devour them as if she were a squirrel in a bin full of daffodil bulbs.
As predicted, Roxy jumped off the bed in the wee hours of the morning, then came around over to my side to nose at me. I got up, bundled myself up and grabbed the flashlight. It is clear and cold outside with the moon shining brightly. Roxy finishes her business quickly and gets back to the front door ahead me.
Now she is back to bed curled up beside Randy and I am on the couch bundled up in the extra blankets.
I can't get back to sleep.
This is not a particular time of the day that I enjoy. I lay in the dark and one by one, things that weigh heavy on my mind come to unsettle me.
They swirl around, reaching around to grab hold. Anywhere where they can find to latch on and stay. Around and around until my tired head starts to hurt.
This morning, though, there is something different inside my heart. I pull each apprehension, each concern to me, one at a time. I think about them and then I pray ...
Lord, this is my worry and my fear. I don't know the outcome of this. But You do. And You love me. You, who have always been right here by my side. You, who gives me strength. You know how this is going to end. I don't. I trust You. I have faith in You to uphold me through this, whatever the outcome.
I fall asleep for a short time. It is a deep sleep, full of strange dreams. Somehow, I feel rested in my heart even though I am not completely rested in my mind and body.
The reason that Roxy decided to devour her collection of chewies last night? It seems as though certain dog-parents got wrapped up in themselves and forgot to feed her.
Have the BEST day ever!